Important Things I Learned in my Twenties

Contrary to popular belief, turning 30 in September does not scare me at all. It could be because Marc consistently brags about how being in your 30s is awesome (He’s got four and a half years on me, you can say he’s experienced), or the fact that I have gone through life with a DGAF attitude and its working VERY well in my favour.

The past ten years have been interesting to say the least, and if I can be grateful for one thing, its that I have really taken the time to understand my mistakes and figure out how I want my life to look like. Maybe this is the real reason why the pressure to turn the “Big 3-0” is off for me, I have never looked at it as a timeline to accomplish something and have always been content with learning and growing as I go.

I can confidently say that all my life experiences are the reason why my friends love hearing my advice. Sometimes I find it crazy that people rely on me to help them make tough decisions, but I am happy I can be that moment of clarity to the people that matter most to me.

So here is what I have learned so far and I hope I can inspire you to feel better about getting older, too:

Value your friendships. There was a time where I was THAT girl who always put her romantic relationships first – ugh, WHY?! I hate admitting that I did this in my early-twenties, and I am thankful that my (good) friends stuck around even when I would go months without seeing them. I am happy to say that I learned from this and make time for my friends way more often now! Take at least one night off a week from seeing your man, your relationship will thank you.

Have a good skincare regime. I have been obsessed with skincare since probably before high school. I remember I started using actual face wash at like, 10 years old and I still swear that its the reason I never had acne in high school. Start building a good routine as early as possible! Prevention is key guys, I still get ID’d at the LCBO. Need I say more?

Keep your imagination alive. I feel like this is easy for me because I have always been an imaginative person, but being an adult can really suck the fun out of your life sometimes so please always remember to keep dreaming.

Learn from your failed relationships. And let them be your guidance towards finding the person of your dreams. If you have to write down what you liked and didn’t like about your exes, do it! Fun fact: a few months before Marc and I started dating I literally sat down and wrote out what I want in a man – ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!

and since we are on the topic of relationships…..

DO:

Praise your partner often, like, daily
Understand their Love Language
Be honest in what you want in your relationships, and never settle for someone who doesn’t fit your standards

DON’T:

Change yourself for your partner
Start a fight and not resolve the issue
Stop being you – having a bf is not an excuse to let yourself go. Keep wearing that makeup and taking those Pilates classes, he fell in love with that version of you, remember that

If you’re not happy in your career, change it. Full disclosure, I just recently figured out what I want to do. I have worked in a lot of industries, but I didn’t let that discourage me from finding what I truly wanted to do. I am still figuring out this part of my life but I know that if I am working somewhere that is toxic, not-fulfilling, and makes me dread getting out of bed in the morning, I’m out!

Stop feeling pressured to get married and have kids by a certain deadline. Its okay if you thought you wanted to get married at 22 and be a young mom and then it didn’t work out that way. Its also okay if you don’t ever want to get married or have kids at all. I love that my best friend has blessed me with three kids to love and cherish, but its not my time for that and I refuse to dwell on the fact that it hasn’t happened for me yet. Your turn will come, or maybe it won’t, but stressing over something that is basically out of your control is insane to me.

On that note…

Don’t stress over things you can’t control. Last year, I stressed myself out to a point where I gained, in my opinion, a lot of weight. I am having a hard time taking it off, mainly because I know I am still not over the stress and anxiety I endured from being unhappy at my old job, but I am keeping myself healthy and know I will be back at my goal weight soon. Someone once told me about the “5:5 rule” – if it isn’t going to be important to you in five years, then you shouldn’t focus on it for more than five minutes.” Genius!

Its okay to not be okay. Being a “type-A” person, this was one of the hardest things for me to accept. I am always looking out for other people, so when my mental health is not 100% it takes a lot for me acknowledge it. Don’t be afraid to admit when things are not feeling so great. See a therapist, talk to people who you trust, but don’t ever think you need to suffer alone because you don’t think your problems are important.